Musing theory

It’s the great murky prolonged absence of a muse, and the sudden discovery of a potential one that has inadvertently alerted me to the reason why I need a muse. Besides a lot of people have misunderstood, and continue to misunderstand my very innocent but definitely freaky need for one, confusing the innocuous request with an almost unthinkable definitely-not-part-of-the-plan intent to get that almost-cliche thing, the human accessory, a girlfriend.

Muse (noun) [wiki], was a mythological being who was basically a patron god of inspiration. The muses canonically specialise in different arts, but it doesn’t matter; they’re all the same to me. A muse is a muse see?
They say muses were divinely beautiful, at least beautiful enough to invoke such passion and yet not lust, to achieve in a said task. Two things. To sufficiently inspire to achieve the muse couldn’t have been JUST beautiful, especially since there was no lust involved.

So let’s first categorise beauty:
there’s divine beauty: where the subject has such heavenly features [please focus on the face]
that if anything bad is felt, it’s fear and inferiority, never lust.
innocent beauty: where the subject has features that are instantly endearing and
instinctively you seek to protect for no ulterior motive.
and erogenous beauty: and then there’s the naughty.
Of course if you don’t fit in any of the three [which is possible], you must’ve hit all the branches of the ugly tree when you fell. Don’t worry though. Tolerance is one of my virtues. ;p

I’m guessing the muses were of the first sort. There seem to be very few myths of muses being sought only for physical beauty.
And in that case, I propose that divine beauty can never be airheaded beauty. Divinity implies respect, and physical attributes will fade with time. So what must’ve been the really unique factor was that these muses weren’t JUST beautiful. They must’ve been really good; top of the game, good at the art they presided over. That makes sense doesn’t it?

Evolutionarily, men have been competing both physically and mentally with each other [even subconsciously] to better attract females. Which would explain why there are statistically a LOT more men than women in almost any field, and it’s more likely men in general are better than women. I’m not being chauvinistic here, I’m just stating the numbers. I tend to be egalitarian for the most part.
In science: more men.
In research: more men; especially at the top.
In the armed forces: more men. There are women, but there are more men. And most are better.
In the civil industries: mostly men.
World of cooking: top chefs are men.
World of fashion: top designers are mostly men.
World of hairstyling: top stylists are men.
Teaching: Women are common here…but mostly in lower education. As the educational level increases, there is a steep jump in the number of male lecturers you see around.
Of course there are a LOT more numbers.
Note: I’m not considering the reasons here, that is the topic for another debate altogether. Now we’re just discussing the status quo.

Anyway back to the point, what I’m trying to highlight is, the only way [I think] a thinking [root word of muse is men-, “think”] man will be sufficiently motivated [constructively as opposed to destructively] to achieve for the sake of someone else sans lust, is if he is mentally being challenged as well. The muse then is not just eye-candy [though that’s definitely a bonus]; she is also the agent of change and action. A friendly rival one seeks to impress. Maybe the “mused” don’t really care for the fame, or the fortune that comes with the achievement, they only care to beat or at least match the one being they acknowledge as an equal without any contempt, however little.
Behind every great man, there is a woman. Why not?

I have deep discussions with women. I do. I really do. When I talk to other guys, it’s usually just the next best thing to small-talk; and that’s only because I avoid small talk. Conversations never hit fever pitch; ideas shuttle back and forth but without an uniform grain direction.
I’ve tried though. Too many times. It’s got to be a girl, a female. For want of a better word: a muse.
Maybe it’s that genetic hardwiring that allows opposite sexes to talk better, I don’t know and at this urgent time, I don’t really care. I *need* a muse. And as I mentioned, I need to feel inferior in some way, to be constantly tricking myself into competing with her, but in reality myself. I can do a the goading myself on part really well, but with a muse around, it just gets that much easier, and that much more common and that much more effective. What can I say? I’m a sucker for a pretty face.

It’s just for mental companionship. I have a free avenue of discussion; a free flow of ideas [incoming IS welcome by the way] and I’m at my best. I feel alert, and accurate. If my biggest problem is spontaneous insecurity in the face of long-term large-scale overconfidence, then the muse, amuse ensures I’m being precise at all times. I feel like I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing and thinking what I’m supposed to be thinking. And you know what? Turn the tables on that; when there’s a muse, I’m thinking what I think I should be thinking and I do what I feel needs doing.
And the best part is, when there’s a muse, I want to be thinking and doing new stuff, cool stuff, good stuff all the time. I just get this instant constant Energiser boost that never runs out.
I don’t need anything else. I really don’t care for relationships [not anymore at least. pfft] It’s become just a word. Maybe it means a lot to other people, but I’ve lost just about every emotional attachment to anyone. They’re people in the monkeysphere, but if they’re leaving, I was too insecure and now just too half-arsed to assert myself and stop them from leaving the hallowed circle. People should be allowed to do whatever they want right? I preach it, I live it. Maybe it’s selfish or tragic. Whatever. Haven’t really had a very good track record with emotional investments.
And that’s why even the muse nominations have ended up becoming halfway arbitrary. I played around with a dream of the one particular muse being the one thing constant in my life once; but now I welcome what I used to dread: change. New muse required? Great! New opinions, new ideas, new territory. W00t.

PS: you know what? I just realised. And I swear, the timing of this one couldn’t be better, or worse, depending. Let me just state it wasn’t planned.

PPS: Guess what? Now I *know* I’m being selfish. I got her name, but today I saw her with a rose. And automatically she’s out of the running. I expect the committment, but I want nothing else [the hassle] and I don’t expressly plan to give anything back, other than the same time and committment…. Bah. Anyway potential muse is now ex-whatever.
The search continues.

edit: Maybe I’m looking in the wrong places for a muse. Re-found Heatha. Must investigate if she’s on facebook.

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