Apple of the aesthete’s eye

Ever since I came back, i dunno, I’m suffering from the after-effects of inertia to do anything productive in the “real” world. Besides I do insist on doing novel things too much, don’t I? But that’s not to say I haven’t been doing anything at all, I typed out a tentative updated resume but I’m peeved about what to put in the profile section.

I started on a website [long overdue] in iWeb but this is one of those times when you don’t cherish Apple’s iron grip on anything you do with their products…if you’re going to give us a webpage-making program, why lock us in to ONLY your templates. I can’t even modify the given templates; can’t change the background, can’t widen the columns. I appreciate the noble gesture in making webpage-building easy for dummies, but for the intermediate and poweruser, iWeb is a waste of space. I’d use Dreamweaver, but I have yet to activate it and my wireless is down -_-”

Anyway here’s a new project. In a way, I’d even call it atonement. I’m back to collecting portraits, with a vengeance. There comes a time when one realises a habit is becoming frighteningly worse than an addiction and I’m determined to beat it; I’ve beaten worse. So there I am collecting portraits/pictures/photos of exotic women. No one else would do, you see? Normalcy[?] doesn’t cut it for me. So I head over to the internet, spending hours on end, just saving HQ images of certain celebrities I’ve singled out and you know what I realised? Goddamn I CAN be perseverent! Load thumbnails, open all in background tabs, start loading the next page of thumbnails, and one by one, right-click each pic, save, close tab, lather, rinse, repeat. [Thank God for Opera and mouse gestures. Can you imagine having 50 tabs open at the same time and not slowing to a halt? Boo, Firefox.] Guess I only persevere if I choose to.

But of course, just saving these images isn’t much of a challenge. You gotta set rules; rules make the game more fun. So I tell myself only collect what I call studio shots, pictures taken with consent. That means no papparazzi, no exceptions. It’s only ethical.
And obviously post-processing comes with the job, meticulous renaming, organising according to events and photoshoots. It can be fun.

I was watching M-theory [downloaded from Google Video], a BBC documentary, that best complements Brian Greene’s An Elegant Universe. 11 dimensions, and n-branes. Collisions of the [rippling] branes in the 11th dimension causes Big Bangs [plural; read multiple universes] and interference causes uneven distribution of matter. How elegant. I’m still unclear as to what supergravity is though.

Point being, the whole idea behind most of physics is the search for symmetry. [I’d even argue odd is more symmetrical than even.] And nowhere is the beauty of symmetry more readily obvious than in faces. Human or otherwise. While perfect symmetry in a face is actually kinda artificial and scary, gross lack of any symmetry at all make a face intolerable to watch [or keep your eyes off of, depending]. Gone are the days when I proclaimed everything is beautiful and everyone is too. We most certainly are not all beautiful [and I’m aware cultural upbringing influences the concept of beauty to a great degree; I’m trying to discuss absolute beauty here], but the trick lies in living with it. Only some are, and most aren’t; it’s not the individual’s fault really, blame it on bad genes.
If harmony is about symmetry, then “beautiful” people are that much closer to perfection. Of course the realists will argue that beautiful people may not be good people and vice versa, but it’s certainly easier to imagine them that way.

Besides it’s not going to hurt anyone, right? To assume someone you’ll never meet is good and smart or even humanitarian. It may not be the case, but if the assumption goads you to greater heights, I’d be the first to say the end justifies the means. I’m like Ekalavya in that way, cept my Drona is beauty. Symmetry. And it gets a bit more extreme. Suffice it to say, these “muses” [for want of a better word] are more than just inspiring clay statues, they’re the pillars of my sanity. Sounds very dramatic; I assure you, that’s really the case. I feel so very lost without a muse. And so this is what I must do. These muses WILL help me concentrate, be a better person, do anything to the best of my ability; all I need is a picture. All I need is to chant one name.


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