Imagine your pain as a white ball of healing light.

Time and people pass us by. And it takes them passing away to make it obvious and pertinent. Note to self: Talk about asymmetry of time in physics and I WILL kill you. It’s not asymmetric. I wish it was, but it isn’t.

It’s at times like this when you somehow feel the ancients were right after all. There IS something going on for real in the heart region; when you feel sad, shouldn’t it be in the head?

It gets heavy, and the beats plod on, thudding. No more light imperceptible nothings. It gets harder to breathe, and the world does seem a bit darker literally, but there nothing wrong with my specs, and LCD brightness is at max. I’m not going to give an eulogy, cos I’d hate it if someone did that for me.

Breathe in, breathe out. He was too young. Had he done at least 10% of what he wanted to do with his life? Did he really live without regrets? I’d like to think he did. That’d be nice.
Cos if not, it’d raise significant questions like why is the curriculum so restrictive that we don’t get to “follow our dreams” until after graduation, which in this case would be when you’re 24,25? Isn’t that a bit dumb? Who know how long we’re going to live? 24 years just…gone. Yeah you make friends, you’re too young, you can’t get a good job otherwise etc etc. Main reason you cant get a good job otherwise. I ask you, is money THAT worth it. That you’d rather die with, than live without? Tramps outlive their financial status; survival is what you make of it. We’ve gotta change this. If we cant for our generation, at least for the future generation. Screw your conservative Asian values about education.
If your only motivation in class is to PASS the bloody exam, then don’t bother. If you’re there to learn something new, make sure you learn it well.
If you don’t want to do something, regardless of how prestigious it is, and how hard it is to get in on it, don’t do it! Think of it as reserving space for someone more enthusiastic but less lucky. And trust me, there’re a LOT of those, almost 90% of the planet falls into that category.
Contrarywise, if you WANT to do something, and really believe you can make a difference, then do it, and change the world, in your own small way.

He liked music. He was really good at the guitar. Maybe he’d have been a great music teacher. Or maybe even…ah fuggit.

Can we stop living for the little things? It’s quaint and romantic, true, but it’s freaking anticlimactic. If there’s only one thing I’m known for in future, I don’t want it to be that I loved, that I passed by a little alcove and managed to tag it with graffiti, that I smelled a flower on my way home everyday, that I petted every animal I saw, that I traveled the world [on holiday], that I studied at the most prestigious institutions and had the highest paying job, that I was loved, that I watched every single show of my favourite series, that I went for every concert of my favourite band and have all their CDs, that I found my calling/God and lived a happy life. Maybe all that is okay, if everyone on the planet has a fair chance at trying for them.
All these are the little things, and are very nice homey feelings to have, and it’s ok to want them. But their priority is given away by that very adjective. Don’t LIVE for them. Live for the big things!

And no, if you think just smiling at someone everyday, and being polite to everyone you see, and helping the old lady cross the road once in a while is in a small way making the world a better place, you’re bloody wrong! If you think it is, then you’re just deceiving yourself. It’s nice and all, and it makes you feel good and mushy inside and it just makes me want to stamp out that marshmallow brain of yours. It’s a good try, but it’s NOT enough!! Love is universal and pure and divine and a blessing, but it’s not enough! In fact it’s like the bottom on the priority list. It’s a little thing.

Case in point: you can love everyone [as someone I know likes to claim] and say it outright and prance around in joy but you’re not necessarily doing anything FOR these people.
OR you can compulsively hate someone and/or their guts, and chronically help them get their act together. Tough love, is way more fulfilling. The important point is to realise whether you’d rather be appreciated now for no reason at all or maybe later and possibly never, for a life-change on the subject’s part. It’s a bit control freaky, but I’d choose the latter.

Fight Club OST – Dust Brothers -This is your life


And you open the door and you step inside
Where inside our hearts
Now imagine your pain as a white ball of healing light
That’s right, your pain
The pain itself is a white ball of healing light
I don’t think so


This is your life, good to the last drop
Doesn’t get any better than this
This is your life and it’s ending one minute at a time


This isn’t a seminar, this isn’t a weekend retreat
Where you are now you can’t even imagine what the bottom will be like
Only after disaster can we be resurrected
It’s only after you’ve lost everything that you’re free to do anything
Nothing is static, everything is evolving, everything is falling apart


This is your life, this is your life, this is your life, this is your life
Doesn’t get any better than this
This is your life, this is your life, this is your life, this is your life
And it and it’s ending one-minute at a time


You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake
You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else
We are all part of the same compost heap
We are the all singing, all dancing, crap of the world


You are not your bank account
You are not the clothes you wear
You are not the contents of your wallet
You are not your bowel cancer
You are not your grande latte
You are not the car you drive
You are not your fucking khaki’s


You have to give up, you have to give up
You have to realize that someday you will die
Until you know that, you are useless


I say let me never be complete
I say may I never be content
I say deliver me from Swedish furniture
I say deliver me from clever arts
I say deliver me from clear skin and perfect teeth
I say you have to give up
I say evolve, and let the chips fall where they may


This is your life, this is your life, this is your life, this is your life
Doesn’t get any better than this
This is your life, this is your life, this is your life, this is your life
And it and it’s ending one-minute at a time


You have to give up, you have to give up
I want you to hit me as hard as you can
I want you to hit me as hard as you can


Welcome to Fight Club
If this is your first night, you have to fight

Pretty much a staple anthem for dreary days. And no it’s not advocating suicide. In fact, it’s quite the contrary.Again, remind me how and why you say God is fair and kind and just? Cos I think he’s a fucking sadist. There I said it. I’ve been wanting to say it all this while, all these years and today more than ever and I said it. Free fucking expression aight? Exhale. Try saying it; it feels good. Chant it for maximum effect.

Bet on good people doing good things. And note, good things is not just about minding Ps and Qs. That’s a social responsibility, a duty. Now we’re talking global obligation. Your responsibility and commitment to your fellow man.

Now more than ever, precession. Precession, precession, precession.

Affirmation: I’m going to do what I can to change educational systems. Life’s too short for 20 years of curriculum, especially if that’s not your cup of tea. The range and scope of fields of study are too limited to sustain employability of a exponentially growing human population anyway.
Currency systems based on bullion are going to fail regardless, sooner or later. How much money can they print for the same [fixed] amount of gold in reserve? After a while it’ll just get worthless, and pointless and not to mention, painful in the process.
You don’t HAVE to be a conglomerate to conduct industrial level research. In fact, it shouldn’t be the case. All that happens after is capitalist price hikes 😦

On a sidenote, did we evolve to grieve? Isn’t that evolutionarily…weak?

We’ll miss ya, ol’ chump. 😦 Really. You were in my Monkeysphere, the smaller one.

P.S: I swear if this was all a prank…I’d be a bit thankful, but hey the lesson learnt is very real. At the very least, it builds character.

P.P.S: FUCK!!! It’s true. 😥


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