Game: Story mode

Think of purchasing your Crackdown/Rule of 3/Lottery/Friends And Family invite as the conception of a beautiful thing. A few months later, the playable Beta rolls around. That was like looking at your little unborn Halo 3 in the ultrasound. It’s not all there, but you can see everythings coming together well, and will be a beautiful, living thing in a few months. Think of this stage now as the labor and birthgiving process. All the hype, leaked videos, and trailers coming up in the next few months is dilating Bungie’s proverbial cervix as the final moments approach, when it is squeezed out of Bungie’s proverbial vagina onto store shelves (however briefly that may be) and into your 360’s. Your Halo 3 will grow into a beautiful thing, with Downloadable Content, all kinds of beautiful videos to look back upon, and countless hours logged into man-cannoning and lasering the n00bs down the street. As it stagnates and reaches a midlife crisis, your Halo 3 will feel the need to travel to exotic locales, namely a PC. This will be a scary time for everyone involved, but Halo 3 will be happy there. Sometime during its life there will be a big change, as the familiar XBOX 360 will be pushed aside for a new, shiny XBOX. Things wont be the same after. Migrating your gamertag, appearance, and emblem won’t make things better, and neither will backwards compatibility issues. Things will hit rock bottom when your achievements and Single Player campaign are gone, and you may consider divorce from your Halo 3. Family counseling, and maybe even a trial separation will bring you to appreciate and love your Halo 3 even more. However, you will both begin to grow old, and tired of one another, and eventually it will earn a spot on the shelf next to its older siblings, Halo & Halo 2, and its many friends and distant relatives.

By the_bundinator from


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